Dear all,
We’re fast approaching Chanukah, and this will be my last newsletter before then, as I’ll be away next week at Limmud. I hope to see many of you at our Chanukah party on 29 December!
Speaking of which: it is so nice to shmooze. Sharing conversation or company with family and friends is a simple pleasure. And yet, it is sometimes easy to say too much; in an unguarded moment, we can easily let slip a comment that is unnecessary, or brings hurt.
This week’s parashah, Vayeshev, is when we first meet Joseph, a sprightly and precocious seventeen-year-old – and Jabob’s favourite son. One day, Joseph helps his half-brothers tending their sheep. On his return, he speaks to his father about their bad behaviour. He tells on them.
Joseph’s tales about his brothers create bad blood in the family, almost straightaway after they are introduced in the biblical narrative. Relationships rapidly break down, and Joseph is sold by his brothers into slavery. It’s a reminder of where words can lead, and how quickly.
Joseph’s primary error was not simply deceit – it is not actually clear whether or not his brothers were misbehaving, as he told his father they were. Rather, his mistake was to speak ill of people when there wasn’t a need. Jacob didn’t ask for a report on his brothers; Joseph didn’t need to bring it up. His words brought focus on an episode that would otherwise have passed unremarked.
Joseph is a reminder that sometimes it’s better to say nothing. By not airing our grievances, we may avoid an argument. For the price of explicit moral clarity, we may buy peace.
Shabbat shalom.
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